When it comes to having a glut of wonderful things, life here offers a lot for children.
Libraries have modernized. Schools have computer labs -- some even have sports programs. There are playgrounds available in neighborhoods and any number of electronic gadgets to mess with. Kids can clean and sanitize their little hands with a simple squirt of alcohol-based goo.
But then there is television. There are cable channels that number into the triple digits that offer soft, pre-school content as well as Three Stooges-level of absurd action with cartoons such as "Ed, Edd and Eddy." There are several phantastical anime-style cartoons and great examples of sassy cynical discourse in "The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy" and "Totally Spies." There are shows like "Zoom" that employ the talents of kid-hosts and the over-hyperactivity of singing group, "Hi-5," an imported TV show from Australia.
All that and much, much more -- but no locally produced children's shows.
If you mention children's programming and Seattle, an overwhelming number of people will think of J.P. Patches, the lovable host-clown portrayed many years on the air by Chris Wedes. Turns out Chris and I have a mutual friend whom I shall call Bob (because his name is Bob). Bob was touched by Chris' stories of disenfranchised youths who, as adults, have been reaching out to Chris to thank him for providing comfort each afternoon when they came home to an empty house. Some had endured abusive situations within their home and it was the protective fun-bubble of "The J.P. Patches Show" that offered comfort and solace.
Why have our local TV stations been ignoring this type of programming? Are they so beaten down by cable that they've lost the urge to compete? It hasn't stopped them from producing adult-oriented shows. "Northwest Afternoon" on KOMO-TV is a great, well-run show, but Cindi Rinehart does nothing for my 9-year-old.
A quick call to a director of programming at KING-TV who said that the rules and regulations for broadcast TV make it a production nightmare to air shows designed for the 12-year-old and younger set. Stations are extremely limited by the Federal Communications Commission as to the content and amount of advertising used for those shows. I asked if stations could use gifts of money or sponsorship in lieu of or in addition to advertising dollars. Apparently that is possible but not without its own set of hurdles.
So, it's too much trouble to produce these shows.
I envision a kid's show that is uniquely Northwest, set within a 1940s bungalow that sits between two high-rise mixed-use condominiums. The co-hosts would be a twisty version of a perfect mom and dad, somewhat like June and Ward Cleaver except with real, fluctuating moods. Filmed before a live studio audience, the show would feature local celebrity guests, animation and music. In addition, it would offer humor, entertainment and useful information about economy, government, history, environment -- basics for today's world. This kids' show would cater to a sense of future and optimism with an emphasis on creativity and entrepreneurship. Local companies will gag for sponsorship. Sometimes when I watch my daughter on her iPod or editing a self-shot digital movie, I almost forget that there is a young soul of a 9-year-old girl in there between those earbuds. Kids are savvy, but even they have inner-children who need to be entertained as such.
Imagine how fun it would be for kids to be part of a live TV show. Production would provide a fresh crop of writers and actors with an artistically enriching experience. That's real economic stimulus.
When I was growing up, all the kids in the neighborhood went to the same elementary school. Not so much these days. Kids are dropped off or bused to schools from all over the place. After school they are picked up and whisked away. The shared admiration of a J.P. Patches is a fading element of child-centric entertainment sadly missing from our high-tech culture of Internet immersion, personal gadgets and cable television.
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Cathy Sorbo is a Seattle-based comedian; cathysorbo.com.
Unless these locally produced kids shows have the same flash-bang-seizure-inducing effects as shows like Naruto and Pokemon, or the same star power as those kids in High School Musical, I doubt these will ever fly.
That's what I think we need too, more local and less generic branding, less networking and less of the corporate mindset (are you listening, Canwest and CTV?).
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